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 nimrod.: HITCHIN' A RIDE
Hey mister, where you headed?  Are you in a hurry?  I need a lift to happy hour.  Say oh no.  Do you brake for distilled spirits?  I need a break as well.  The well that inebriates the guilt.  1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4. 
  Cold turkey's getting stale, tonight I'm eating crow.  Fermented salmonella poison oak no 
  There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and now I'm dehydrating.  My tongue is swelling up, as say 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4.  Troubled times, you know i can not lie.  I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride. 
  There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and now I'm dehydrating.  My tongue is swelling up, I say Shit! 
  
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