Man, you're really one heck of a guy
best friend since Jr. High
you showed me Playboy for the very first time
that was rad

We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the first row
I pierced your ear right before the show
we stole your brother's beer and he didn't know, whoa

Whoa, your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?
now your stuck with her
like melincamp is stuck with cougar
guess that makes me the luckiest loser

I met her at a kegger passed out in the yard
getting in her pants wasn't really that hard
6 months later she crashed my car
that was rad

She's got a glow from her spray on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band
I really think she mite worship satan
not a fan

Whoa, Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
you should run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?
now she's stuck with you
like a frat guy with a bad tattoo
like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover
you deserve each other
A Lethal Weapon when you take her home to meet your mother
she was a superstar
backseat of my car
those days are over now, but life goes on, yeah

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?) (just wanna get some?)
Yeah

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?
now your stuck with her
like melincamp is stuck with cougar
like number two on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion (luckiest loser)
I know you know she used to be my girl (luckiest loser)
you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb (luckiest loser)
and did I mention that you both suck?